Power house seems to have great reviews and they have a contest Thursday nights. I don't mind being hit on as long as it's not too creepy. If you don't like dive bars, I would definitely avoid the Eagle and Powerhouse. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of any of the ones you listed, but I don't hang out in the Castro or SOMA much these days anyway, so my opinion probably doesn't hold much water.
Just so you know, SOMA is MUCH grungier and "anything goes" than most of the Castro, so don't be shocked to find people being pretty open/hands on (if you catch my drift). Badlands and Toad Hall are probably the closest to what you're looking for, or maybe the Cafe. From what you described, it sounds like you're looking more for a nightclub type of vibe than a dive bar/watering hole, and there really aren't a whole lot of great options imo. Honestly, just wander around the Castro and pop your head in to different places to see if it's your type of scene. Top Gay Clubs & Bars in Downtown San Francisco: See reviews and photos of Gay Clubs & Bars in Downtown San Francisco, San Francisco (California) on Tripadvisor. at the Hartford Street Zen Center, 57 Hartford Street in the Castro.
While not exclusive in any sense, some gay bars are designated for only certain types of patrons (i.e. Hartford Street Zen Center, 57 Hartford Street, San Francisco, CA 94114 ( Map) The Gay Buddhist Sangha meets Sundays from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m. It really depends on what you're into (bears, twinks, latinos, asians, etc) and what type of scene you're looking for (night club, sex club, happy hour, neighborhood bar, dive bar, etc). The city’s gay bars feature large, outdoor celebrations (not unlike a gay pride parade) that attract people of all stripes that wish to be entertained by a group of eclectic and unique singers and dancers.